WYRDYSM GAMES

Let's get our sack de la bitchslap open for the crippleship. I don't want any disabled assholes ruining our nice clean asteroid field.

_________________
I have to kill fast and bullets are too slow.

A/N: LET'S GET SALVAGE!

--

Clarent's Q&A Time!


"We have enough time. That's all I'll say."


"We're a couple terawatts short of power output. Even if it were possible, using it again would be inadvisable. We have reason to believe that it just randomly slung us half-way across the galaxy. It would be very painful if we get teleported into a sun, a planet, an asteroid, or god forbid, deep space."

--

You decide to prey on the immobilized ship and get ready for combat. Your single engine whirrs to life as you set course for the target. "That's a good call", the AI says.



As you get closer, however, a different picture is painted. Your scanners indicate that it's not so defenseless after all. Two autocannons and a beamer the likes of which you've never seen before. It seems that the reactor signature was only faint because it was shielded with some form of stealth technology.

"We're lucky that it's dead in the water", you say quite nervously. "It is dead in the water, right?"

"I hope so.", your AI says. "Plasma Cannon armed and fully charged. TAPS maneuvering active."



Suddenly, a rather angry female voice hails you over the radio. "Stop! Cease firing at once, or you will be destroyed! This is ASV Orpheus actual, Captain Touki Shirai of the Andromedan Stellar Navy!"

"Nice to meet you, Miss Shirai. People call me Test Pilot ABT-231-7...C. And this here is..." You pause, scratching your head. "Hey, tinhead. What do I call you?"

"As a backup AI, I don't have a default designation assigned", your AI responds. "Though I suppose you could just call me Clarent."

"Yeah, that works. This here is Clarent."



A blast rocks the cockpit. "Shit!", you yell in panic. "This isn't good. Setting TAPS to Flanking."

"Roger! Let's stay out of that beamer's firearc!"

"I repeat, cease firing at once! We will call for reinforcements if you do not comply!"

"Keep firing. Aim for the bridge", Clarent orders you grimly. "Scans indicate that they are about as capable as we are of sending transmissions out of the asteroid field. That is, not at all."



"You are messing with the most powerful military force in the galaxy, freebooter! The Andromedan Stellar Navy!"

Again, you're confused. It seems the universe is just filled with things you don't know. "If it's so powerful, then how come I've never fuckin' heard of it?"

"What? You psycho, there's nobody who hasn't heard of the ASN! What rock have you been living under?!"

You reply in the only way you know. "I'm with the Colonial Military. We're the most powerful military force in the galaxy. Dickhead."

"The Colonial Military?! How in the--"



Captain Shirai is cut off by a blast from your Plasma Turret, followed by the sound of air being violently sucked into the vacuum. It appears you've taken out the bridge with that shot.

The ship's lights flash momentarily before dimming permanently. It appears that you've managed to cause a critical power surge.

Clarent smiles. "That's one dead ship. The NanoCore is all warmed up, by the way. Let's get ourselves armed."

"Yeah. So how do we go about doing it?"

"As advanced as this system is, it's only so precise when it comes to vivisecting dead spaceships. Depending on various factors, such as the ship's size, build quality, and the amount of time we have on hand, we can only salvage a certain amount of parts from each ship before the rest becomes unusable."

"Suck", you exclaim.



You squint at the task on hand. "Damn. This is gonna be hard."

Clarent rolls her eyes. "Hurry up. The junkers are less than fifty clicks from our current location."

"Shut up", you snarl groggily. "I'm thinking."

Well, /bsf/, pick your poison. You can also ask to position any of the parts in a specific location or direction. I'd also appreciate it if you chose an action for us to take after picking up the parts.

_________________
"Please consider the environment before printing out this email."

That's an example of a good signature file, not the thing you have now where you say you're white and your symbol is a sunburst and your enemies are blacks and reds.

Viking's Port Gunwale and fit the 150MW Pulse Beamer on its hardpoint...

I don't know if going into battle with multiple ships is that good, I'd suggest running to the other ship ((not too close of course)) in the hope that it will take care of the salvager pirates so that we can salvage them instead...

If it doesn't help us out, we won't be worse of than we are now and we'll take our chances with the salvagers...

((Edit: In case your ship has a databank of some kind, can we do a search for your real name?))

_________________
I don't know about you; But I generally don't store games in RAM.
~~Take a cookie~~
J.

Yer, 'nom the beamer and the armor.

Viking's Port Gunwale and the 150MW Pulse Beamer. Extra armory, extra shooty.

Then fly directly to the large, heavily armed hauler to the South. Try to establish peaceful communications:

1) If it opens fire, flee immediately.
2) It it doesn't shoot, but doesn't respond, hide behind it until the junkers arrive and hope it kills them.
3) If it does respond, ask for assistance against the salvagers.

Also, I'm feeling hungry. Look around to see if there's any sort of food production device in the cockpit. Ask Clarent if necessary.

_________________
Founder and Event Coordinator for the BSF Beauty Pageant. Founder of the Pseudo-Chainship Project. Admin. Games Master.
Quality Control Enforcer

Agreeing with SWS and Droid. Also, to add onto SWS food inquiry, look for a bathroom, you need to take a leak, badly.

_________________
Nothing is forever. It can't be. 'Cause everyone changes.

Whether they want to or not, they need to change. Myself... Even you!

Get the gun-sized whale and the whale-sized gun. Stick them together. Frontal armour!

Then do what SWS said about the other ship. If they're talkative and/or need an incentive, offer to split valuable cargo from the pirates with them (if any) and we can cannibalize the hulls for our ship. Just do that last part once they're gone. Don't want them asking questions.

_________________
　 ／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
　l、ﾞ ~ヽ
　じしf_, )ノ

i agree, gunwale and beamer, and slap it on the front. then investigate the bigger drifter. try to contact it and make friends with it, and if that fails, blow it to hell, grab some crap, and take on the junkers.

_________________
I'm still alive, motherfuckers.

No no no. Bad. Bad idea. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Not nearly sneaky and resourceful enough.

Why do that when we can let the pirates jump it, weaken it for us, and then jump them if they win, or finish off the weakened ship?

_________________
　 ／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
　l、ﾞ ~ヽ
　じしf_, )ノ

because a welded beamer might be worse than none at all, as the weight would slow our movement down, and the plasma gun we have is fairly poor...

But lets do this the INTERESTING way.

Reactor Shielding, and the Beamer welded to the side of the ship facing foward...
or just welded to the ship will do =P

Oh and hide behind a rock behind the non-responsive lug.

There's nothing interesting about that. You suck.

_________________
Founder and Event Coordinator for the BSF Beauty Pageant. Founder of the Pseudo-Chainship Project. Admin. Games Master.
Quality Control Enforcer

I agree. Let's take the big slab of armour and tack the wave motion gun onto it.

ps -Then we should check out that freighter, I guess. Maybe there's something to use.

_________________
I have to kill fast and bullets are too slow.

Gunwhale and Beamer. Shoot and absorb.

_________________
Congratulations. You're a textbook definition of a troll. -Danny
~Armored Core is to Cosmicbreak like Starcraft II is to World of Warcraft.~

A/N: Sorry for the wait. This one is a pretty large, combat-focused update. The next one, on the other hand, will give us some breathing room, and all of your funny little questions will finally be answered. Stay tuned.

--


Clarent has acquired the following equipment:


Additionally, Clarent has managed to recover some of the information that was in the main computer's buffer before the power surge destroyed it. She plays what remains of the captain's log for you. It's barely half an hour old.



"I don't get it", the AI says, tilting her head to the side. "It's pretty badly corrupted. Did you catch any of that?"

"It just means that we should be very, very careful around here", you reply in a slow, deliberate fashion. "Let's just hope we don't run into any of those illegal *tschhhhhhhhh* contraband shippers. Or any of that evasive action stuff, eugh."

As for the new equipment: Though you have sufficient armor and firepower for now, you've been weighed down somewhat by your phat lewt. It's probably still possible to engage the enemy without difficulty, but you don't want to take any chances.

"We can't risk being outflanked", you explain. "We should contact that hauler to the south for assistance."

"It's worth a shot", Clarent replies. "Provided they don't take us for lunatics, of course. I'm setting an intercept course for the hauler. Open up another comm channel, would you kindly?"



As the engine starts up again, creaking under the extra load, you reach for the comm panel. Keying in the hauler's frequency, you speak into the mouthpiece once again. "Uh, this is the CMS Clarent. Unknown cargo vessel, please respond."

Blurting in reply is a heavily accented voice husky enough to pull a dog sled. "Ho ho ho. This here's the S/N Reh-nuh-gade. We ain't no xenos, lemme tells yah. We's all humans." You assume he just called his ship the S/N... Renegade? Awful aggressive name for a freight hauler. But you can't complain if they've got a mind for combat.

You decide to get straight to the point. "There is a small contingent of pirate vessels tailing us from the north, Renegade. We'd appreciate it if you could offer up some assistance."

"Ain't no pirate ships gon' touch y'all!", the Renegade replies rousingly. "Plasma Cannons armed! We're on the job!"

Clarent blinks as if in disbelief. "Well, that went better than expected."

Your ship follows the Renegade for about ten clicks. Both vessels stop and begin facing north somewhere near the edge of the asteroid belt.



"Here they come! We gon' tear 'em a new asshole, hyuk hyuk hyuk!" You cringe upon hearing the Renegade captain's incredibly grating laugh.

"TAPS Maneuvering active. Pulse beamer's wave levels nominal. But something's wrong... one of the enemy reactor signatures is missing."

"Yeeeeehaw!", the similarly distasteful junkers yell over the open channel. "Let's git some!"

Your ship exchanges shots with the junkers from a distance while the hauler simply charges into the fray, guns blazing hard. Their autocannon fire is fairly strong, but not enough to buckle your armor. A thunk is heard every time one of their projectiles impacts the core.



After a few seconds of frantic combat, you wither down one of the junker ships and finish it off with a well-aimed shot from your pulse beamer. You shut your eyes as light fills the viewscreen.

"Score! Looks like its reactor went critical."

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk! That there's some mighty fine shootin'."

The two remaining junkers attempt to slip past your firearc. You manage to keep your frontal armor focused on them, but the hauler is not so lucky.



"We is takin' a little bit of heat. Don't y'all worry, we'll be faaaaaaaahn."

Clarent shakes her head in a mixture of sympathy and disdain. "Scans indicate that their starboard flank has reached critically low integrity. It won't survive another hit."

You act quickly, disabling another one of the junkers and turning the remaining one into slag with the help of the hauler.



"And there goes the last one!", the Renegade says cordially. "Great shootin'!"

You simply nod, though you realize that the captain can't see you doing so. "We appreciate your help", Clarent says in your place.

"No problem, lil' lady. Anything else we can do for ya?"

You are very slightly creeped out by the fact that the hauler captain just called your pet tin can a quote, endquote, "lil' lady". But this is a time for tolerance, you say to yourself. It's no good to flip off the person who just saved your life.

"We're a bit... lost", you tell him reservedly. "Could you take us to the nearest port?"

"Suuuuuuuure. We'll take you to the Big Pig; biggest mining station in Daedalus. 'S'just east o' here-- h-hey, y'all wait a sec." You can hear hushed chattering aboard the bridge of the Renegade. After a few seconds, they seem to reach a decision of some sort.



"...but I'm 'fraid we're gonna have to make a quick detour through hell, son."

Clarent is startled at the hauler's sudden change of course. "I'm getting a radar spike from those plasma cannons. This isn't good."

Your disgust changes to fear, then to sadness, then to anger. You bash your dashboard in a maelstrom of rage. "You want a piece of me, neckbeard?! Do you?! Well, bring it on!"

"Y'all thought you was gonna turn us into the au-tho-ri-ties for a quick buck! Well hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk, we ain't-a gonna let ya do it."

You slam the TAPS control panel. "Full speed ahead, Clarent! I am going to glass these pricks so incredibly hard!"

"Calm down. Let's aim for the port gunwale. That's where they're weakest--"



The last of the four junker ships detected appears at last. It opens a can of hurt on the hauler's soft flank.

"Hee ho! Eat shit, you hatfuckers!"

"Oh lawd, git outta the way!"



A massive explosion sends shockwaves coursing through the asteroid field.

"Reactor meltdown confirmed. The Renegade is no more."

"Hee ho! Now it's your turn to die!"



Inside the cockpit, red warning lights blink in a strobe-like fashion. A loud warning tone is also heard.

"Incoming missile! TAPS maneuvering activated!" Clarent almost seemed to strain her voice, and it was no wonder: it was a pretty damned huge missile.



A massive explosion causes the cockpit to quake violently, and even the holopanels seemed to flicker on and off for a moment. You hang on for dear life while your ship battles on automatically.

"Bad news: The pulse beamer's not responding. I think we've lost it."

"Fuck", you swear under your breath.

Shots are exchanged exchanged between your ship and the junker frigate. Missile after missile is fired at your vessel, and you manage to evade none of them. You're simply not fast enough. Fortunately, your ablative armor absorbs a lot of the damage.



Eventually, you manage to whittle down the junker's strength with your plasma cannon. It attempts to flee, but you core its reactor before it manages to do an about face.

You breathe a long sigh of relief. It's been an extremely taxing day for you. And now you stand within what is basically a pool of scrapped ship parts.

"Oh boy", Clarent grins. "I am going to have such fun making heads or tails of this mess."



"Hey", you pipe up. "Does the station the hauler was going to take us to actually exist?"

"Yes. Now that we're out of the asteroid field, my photometrics can confirm that there is in fact a very large mining station orbiting a gas giant somewhere nearby. There's also a much smaller station orbiting a small, rocky planet further away. Want me to plot a course?"

Well, /bsf/, it's time to sift through the shit again. That was pretty hectic, but rest assured, the first steps are the hardest. Pick your parts, then choose a destination. Hopefully it'll be smooth sailing for a short while.

EDIT: For perfect clarity, we have no free hardpoints at this point in time. The point on the Viking's Gunwale was destroyed.

_________________
"Please consider the environment before printing out this email."

That's an example of a good signature file, not the thing you have now where you say you're white and your symbol is a sunburst and your enemies are blacks and reds.

Heh. Not a pretty choice, either way. But at least we'll have stuff.

Junker A: Autocannon.
Junker B: Bow Shield
Frigate: ASM Launcher.
Renegade: Frontal Armor + Large Servo + Fold Drive

_________________
Congratulations. You're a textbook definition of a troll. -Danny
~Armored Core is to Cosmicbreak like Starcraft II is to World of Warcraft.~