The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK
Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 5:10 am
The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK (NDAEONS)
National Flag:
The dashing man depicted on the NDAEONS flag is their almighty MMA God-King, Bob "The Beast" Sapp.
National Motto:
"Freedomicus prosperitus annihilaticus powerwalkius"
National Anthem:
Clint Mansell - Lux Aeterna
Military Battle March:
Max Coveri - Running in the 90s
NDAEONS Statistics
Total Population: 4.8 x 10207 Starmen
Controlled Worlds: 9.1 x 1040 planets
Dimension-Universes Spanned: 4
Size Of Navy: One hundred brazillion ships
NDAEONS Historical Timeline
120 trillion years ago - The Starmen began as a species of cylindrical molusks with mechnikovium-encrusted shells on the planet STARSTRUCK. These mollusks later evolve and develop ten foot tall, highly muscular humanoid bodies with six arms, three mouths, and horns resembling those of a North American Bighorn sheep. Each individual is theoretically immortal from a biological standpoint due to their natural regenerative abilities and painfully slow metabolism. This, combined with their natural hankerin' for a fuckin', contributes heavily to their violent population boom.
119 trillion years ago / S.D. 0 - The Starmen of planet STARSTRUCK achieve sentience and begin contemplating the nature of the universe. Around this timeframe, the immortal god-king Bob "The Beast" Sapp is born to a Starman family of six brood-mates. The "Stardate" (SD) system of dating is agreed upon by the primitive Starman societies, based on the two-hundred year long day cycle of the planet STARSTRUCK.
S.D. 1024 - The Starmen achieve manned spaceflight for the first time.
S.D. 1025 - In what is to be the first of their long stream of distressingly hostile takeovers, the Starmen crush their first alien enemy: the Elephantmen on the nearby moon of Chorchiluxium.
S.D. 1099 - The Starmen achieve superluminal warp travel for the first time, sending a 25,000km phallic space battleship to the neighboring system of Ehrmdad.
S.D. 2010 - After conquering a total of 32,182 alien empires, the glorious Bob Sapp wins 655 out of 656 seats in the National Starmen election. He forms the Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of STARSTRUCK, or NDAEOS for short. It is an empire that aims to adhere to the admittedly nebulous tenets of "Freedomicus prosperitus annihilaticus powerwalkius".
S.D. 2012 - The NDAEOS activates the trans-dimensional Gatus Universum and accidentally destroys an adjacent universe. Or at least, that's what those damned boffins told them. They just wanted to go kill something in another universe, seeing as their own universe was getting mighty boring.
S.D. 20200 - The NDAEOS finally conquers the galaxy-spanning empire of Perfecti in the neighboring universe of Galalucious.
S.D. 40704 - The glorious NDAEOS navy arrives in our universe. They greet the budding Terran empire by compressing the planet Jupiter past its Schwarzschild Radius and creating a black hole. However, seeing how similar Terran culture is to their own, they decide to deactivate the black hole and spare them. The Terran empire and the NDAEOS establish a lasting partnership, the first feat of the sort ever to be achieved by the alarmingly incompetent NDAEOS diplomats. In commemoration, the NDAEOS is renamed to the Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK, or NDAEONS for short.
Map of the NDAEONS
(Note: This image may not display properly on monitors configured to resolutions of 32768 x 21845 or smaller)
National Flag:
The dashing man depicted on the NDAEONS flag is their almighty MMA God-King, Bob "The Beast" Sapp.
National Motto:
"Freedomicus prosperitus annihilaticus powerwalkius"
National Anthem:
Clint Mansell - Lux Aeterna
Military Battle March:
Max Coveri - Running in the 90s
NDAEONS Statistics
Total Population: 4.8 x 10207 Starmen
Controlled Worlds: 9.1 x 1040 planets
- of which:
4.1 x 1029 terrestrial planets
2.4 x 1029 gas giants
2.8 x 1029 planetoids and borderline objects
452 of that place from Halo
52 sun-ball-things
Dimension-Universes Spanned: 4
Size Of Navy: One hundred brazillion ships
- of which:
One hundred brazillion battleships
0 support vessels
- where 1 Starbuck is equal to roughly USD12,000,000 in purchasing power, accounting for inflation
- Wacky-Tobacky: 9.5 x 10296 tons
Crystal Meth: 1.9 x 1012 tons
Purified Mechnikovium: 1.1 x 1032 tons
Gulfstream G650s: 1 (they're that expensive)
- None, because the NDAEONS is entirely self-sufficient
NDAEONS Historical Timeline
120 trillion years ago - The Starmen began as a species of cylindrical molusks with mechnikovium-encrusted shells on the planet STARSTRUCK. These mollusks later evolve and develop ten foot tall, highly muscular humanoid bodies with six arms, three mouths, and horns resembling those of a North American Bighorn sheep. Each individual is theoretically immortal from a biological standpoint due to their natural regenerative abilities and painfully slow metabolism. This, combined with their natural hankerin' for a fuckin', contributes heavily to their violent population boom.
119 trillion years ago / S.D. 0 - The Starmen of planet STARSTRUCK achieve sentience and begin contemplating the nature of the universe. Around this timeframe, the immortal god-king Bob "The Beast" Sapp is born to a Starman family of six brood-mates. The "Stardate" (SD) system of dating is agreed upon by the primitive Starman societies, based on the two-hundred year long day cycle of the planet STARSTRUCK.
S.D. 1024 - The Starmen achieve manned spaceflight for the first time.
S.D. 1025 - In what is to be the first of their long stream of distressingly hostile takeovers, the Starmen crush their first alien enemy: the Elephantmen on the nearby moon of Chorchiluxium.
S.D. 1099 - The Starmen achieve superluminal warp travel for the first time, sending a 25,000km phallic space battleship to the neighboring system of Ehrmdad.
S.D. 2010 - After conquering a total of 32,182 alien empires, the glorious Bob Sapp wins 655 out of 656 seats in the National Starmen election. He forms the Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of STARSTRUCK, or NDAEOS for short. It is an empire that aims to adhere to the admittedly nebulous tenets of "Freedomicus prosperitus annihilaticus powerwalkius".
S.D. 2012 - The NDAEOS activates the trans-dimensional Gatus Universum and accidentally destroys an adjacent universe. Or at least, that's what those damned boffins told them. They just wanted to go kill something in another universe, seeing as their own universe was getting mighty boring.
S.D. 20200 - The NDAEOS finally conquers the galaxy-spanning empire of Perfecti in the neighboring universe of Galalucious.
S.D. 40704 - The glorious NDAEOS navy arrives in our universe. They greet the budding Terran empire by compressing the planet Jupiter past its Schwarzschild Radius and creating a black hole. However, seeing how similar Terran culture is to their own, they decide to deactivate the black hole and spare them. The Terran empire and the NDAEOS establish a lasting partnership, the first feat of the sort ever to be achieved by the alarmingly incompetent NDAEOS diplomats. In commemoration, the NDAEOS is renamed to the Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK, or NDAEONS for short.
Map of the NDAEONS
(Note: This image may not display properly on monitors configured to resolutions of 32768 x 21845 or smaller)
