The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

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STARSTRUCK
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The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by STARSTRUCK »

The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK (NDAEONS)
National Flag:
Image
The dashing man depicted on the NDAEONS flag is their almighty MMA God-King, Bob "The Beast" Sapp.
National Motto:
"Freedomicus prosperitus annihilaticus powerwalkius"
National Anthem:
Clint Mansell - Lux Aeterna
Military Battle March:
Max Coveri - Running in the 90s

NDAEONS Statistics
Total Population: 4.8 x 10207 Starmen
Controlled Worlds: 9.1 x 1040 planets
  • of which:
    4.1 x 1029 terrestrial planets
    2.4 x 1029 gas giants
    2.8 x 1029 planetoids and borderline objects
    452 of that place from Halo
    52 sun-ball-things
Controlled Galaxies: 12,491,253 galaxies
Dimension-Universes Spanned: 4
Size Of Navy: One hundred brazillion ships
  • of which:
    One hundred brazillion battleships
    0 support vessels
Gross Domestic Product: 9.0 x 10256 Starbucks
  • where 1 Starbuck is equal to roughly USD12,000,000 in purchasing power, accounting for inflation
Annual Exports:
  • Wacky-Tobacky: 9.5 x 10296 tons
    Crystal Meth: 1.9 x 1012 tons
    Purified Mechnikovium: 1.1 x 1032 tons
    Gulfstream G650s: 1 (they're that expensive)
Annual Imports:
  • None, because the NDAEONS is entirely self-sufficient

NDAEONS Historical Timeline
120 trillion years ago - The Starmen began as a species of cylindrical molusks with mechnikovium-encrusted shells on the planet STARSTRUCK. These mollusks later evolve and develop ten foot tall, highly muscular humanoid bodies with six arms, three mouths, and horns resembling those of a North American Bighorn sheep. Each individual is theoretically immortal from a biological standpoint due to their natural regenerative abilities and painfully slow metabolism. This, combined with their natural hankerin' for a fuckin', contributes heavily to their violent population boom.

119 trillion years ago / S.D. 0 - The Starmen of planet STARSTRUCK achieve sentience and begin contemplating the nature of the universe. Around this timeframe, the immortal god-king Bob "The Beast" Sapp is born to a Starman family of six brood-mates. The "Stardate" (SD) system of dating is agreed upon by the primitive Starman societies, based on the two-hundred year long day cycle of the planet STARSTRUCK.

S.D. 1024 - The Starmen achieve manned spaceflight for the first time.

S.D. 1025 - In what is to be the first of their long stream of distressingly hostile takeovers, the Starmen crush their first alien enemy: the Elephantmen on the nearby moon of Chorchiluxium.

S.D. 1099 - The Starmen achieve superluminal warp travel for the first time, sending a 25,000km phallic space battleship to the neighboring system of Ehrmdad.

S.D. 2010 - After conquering a total of 32,182 alien empires, the glorious Bob Sapp wins 655 out of 656 seats in the National Starmen election. He forms the Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of STARSTRUCK, or NDAEOS for short. It is an empire that aims to adhere to the admittedly nebulous tenets of "Freedomicus prosperitus annihilaticus powerwalkius".

S.D. 2012 - The NDAEOS activates the trans-dimensional Gatus Universum and accidentally destroys an adjacent universe. Or at least, that's what those damned boffins told them. They just wanted to go kill something in another universe, seeing as their own universe was getting mighty boring.

S.D. 20200 - The NDAEOS finally conquers the galaxy-spanning empire of Perfecti in the neighboring universe of Galalucious.

S.D. 40704 - The glorious NDAEOS navy arrives in our universe. They greet the budding Terran empire by compressing the planet Jupiter past its Schwarzschild Radius and creating a black hole. However, seeing how similar Terran culture is to their own, they decide to deactivate the black hole and spare them. The Terran empire and the NDAEOS establish a lasting partnership, the first feat of the sort ever to be achieved by the alarmingly incompetent NDAEOS diplomats. In commemoration, the NDAEOS is renamed to the Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK, or NDAEONS for short.


Map of the NDAEONS
Image
(Note: This image may not display properly on monitors configured to resolutions of 32768 x 21845 or smaller)
vidboi
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by vidboi »

THIS IS AMAZING. THIS IS MOST POSSIBLY THE MOST AMAZING FEAT OF SCIENCE FICTION OF ALL TIME. YOU WIN 9 BILLION INTERNETS
There is no OP, there is only more boosters...
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Orelius
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Orelius »

HOLYSHITTHISISAWESOME.
Spoiler!
Atomic Avocado wrote:Think about section spam like this.
Congrats! Youve been promoted to head designer for a car company! Now for your first design are you going to cover the car in tires? In axles? In bumpers? NO! Your going design something that uses the right parts for the right places.
Orelius's Hopefully Decent Ships!
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Da_Dooley
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Da_Dooley »

I HEREBY GIVE MY APPROVAL FOR YOU TO BE PROMOTED TO GRAND HIGH SUPREME ARCH ADMIRAL OF THE COALITION.
YOU NOW ARE IN POSESSION OF NINE BILLION AND ONE INTERNETS.
I'm still alive, motherfuckers.
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Squishy »

MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE HAVING VIEWED THIS.
Realism, seriously? It's a space ship game. Realism was thrown out the window a long time ago.
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Droid »

THE MAP IS AWESOME.
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Da_Dooley
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Da_Dooley »

GULFSTREAM G650S BECAUSE NDAEONS IS JUST SO FLY LIKE THAT
I'm still alive, motherfuckers.
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Anna
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Anna »

This thread full of spam is not pleasing to my eyes. Not pleasing at all. :|
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Da_Dooley
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Da_Dooley »

D'aww, come on, Silver. Admit that you got at least a grin from seeing the flag. xD
I'm still alive, motherfuckers.
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by Bad Boy »

Think positive, it beats the last joke backstory by a mile.
For one, this one's actually funny (though to my great dismay there are no ships). Good stuff SS.
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Re: The Neo-Democratic Anarchist Empire Of NOT-STARSTRUCK

Post by guilee186 »

THIS IS SO UTTERLY FULFILLING!

OUR LIVES ARE COMPLETE!
Congratulations. You're a textbook definition of a troll. -Danny
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